Awaiting Orders [Petra]

[Levi Ackerman]

Levi stood atop the wall looking out over the ruins of Trost district. This far in, there wasn't quite as much damage. The cadets had done a fine job keeping the worst of it toward the main gate. He was shocked to see that upon their return. He was further surprised to really assess the situation and see what they had accomplished. For a bunch of whiny brats, he couldn't say they hadn't done well enough for recruits fresh out of the academy. Those that were left might just be able to survive in this world.

The short corporal shifted on his feet and made his slow way across the stones that were meant to keep out the abominations, to keep humanity safe. For the second time in five years the worst of the abnormal Titans showed up. For the second time in five years he wasn't present to try and make a difference. For the first time, they had a living, breathing subject that they might have the chance to control. There was still so much speculation on what that kid was and what to do with him that they were starting to grate on his nerves. He wasn't even in on the conversations and he was getting pissed with them.

The dark haired soldier shifted his shoulders, the deep green cloak around his upper body shifting around him. He could just hear the sounds of thundering footsteps near the gate drifting across on the breeze. How had so many new recruits survived? How had they managed to do such an effective job with no upper brass was ... interesting. Tactically if he cared enough to want a say in who joined this squad under Hange and him, he would actually take a close look at who had survived the attack here. The one thing he was truly interested in was that monster. He didn't trust anyone else to watch him as efficiently as he could. Plus, Hange was part of his regiment so that was the added bonus for everyone else.

Levi turned on his heel, his easy stance not giving away just how tense he really was. His gaze drifted to the various, small gatherings of soldiers and civilians just waiting for the military to make a move, to decide their fates. His eyes were scanning for particular people in particular, of course. He wanted the final word on what they were doing. He wanted to get to the bottom of what they were doing with that kid so he could burst their bubble and take the shifter brat. It was a close call which he hated more - being taken for a leader that he didn't want to be, and not taking the title entirely and being in on such big decisions. However, he would just have to trust his superior as he waited. Tch, typical.

[Petra Ral]

She never did do too well under copious amounts of stress, but she was doing everything in her power to keep everything under control inside of her own head. Could it really be true that there was a human inside of the walls that.. Could turn? Into the beasts that she had killed so often by her own hands and with the help of her teammates? Petra almost didn't want to believe that such a thing could be true, but it was both a beautiful savior and an ugly omen; this boy could either make or break them and that was a hard pill for the Scout to swallow.

Petra had been doing what she had been ordered to do by her Captain, and she, along with the rest of the squad, had been patrolling the walls to make sure that there weren't any more titans that needed to be taken care of. So far, she hadn't seen any, which was a bit odd - she figured that the place would be completely overrun with the beasts. Perhaps it was because all of the people had evacuated that they didn't see much of a reason to keep meandering around within these walls? Petra gave a small sigh, turning her body to look around out towards the other side of the wall, facing her back. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky; that was right, they had been out here just about all day, right? Granted that they hadn't been searching all day, but instead eliminating the small number of titans they came across. It had been a long day that felt pretty much useless... But she told herself that she wouldn't let that get her down! What had to be done had to be done.

She turned back around, shaking her head to get herself out of her daze. When her chocolate eyes fixated forward, she was able to pick up on a small figure standing on the wall not too far away, overlooking the ruins that were previously known as the Trost District. It was none other than her Captain, the person that she trusted and respected more than anything else. She blinked a few times, wondering if he was doing anything important, even putting one hand against her forehead and squinting to try and get a better look, though all efforts were fruitless. She began a light jog, moving towards Levi, her gear clanking as she did so. Eld, Oluo and Gunther were still circling the walls.. Somewhere. To be honest, she didn't run into them much on her scouting - perhaps they all got sick and tired of walking around aimlessly and decided to head back to the horses to wait for the rest of them? They were all pretty respectful for the most part, but sometimes they could be a little.. Lacking in the incentive department.

"Captain-" She said when she got close enough, the jog affecting her slightly, though being as fit as she was, she was able to catch her breath quickly. Petra quickly saluted to Levi for a few moments before letting her posture regress back to normal. "I haven't seen any others around, sir. And there's no sight of the others." Was that considered tattling? Hah - whatever; Oluo deserved it anyway.

"..Captain?" Petra suddenly noticed the way Levi was standing; he was good at hiding the things that he felt, but for some reason, Petra found it easy to see through that disguise. Perhaps it was her intuition, or maybe she was that in-tune with her team that she was able to read that far into things that otherwise were invisible? Who knows?

"Are you okay?"

[Levi Ackerman]

Levi wasn't completely lost in his own head. He rarely let his guard down enough for anyone to just appear out of nowhere. He was vaguely aware that he wasn't entirely alone on the wall, though he hadn't cared enough to know who was up here with him. He was lucky that it was someone that he could tolerate. It was also good that it was someone that knew him well enough that information was immediately offered up to him. Petra was always good for that sort of thing.

He turned slightly as she neared, the metallic noise of her gear easily breaking the silence that had surrounded him so far above everyone else. For him it was easy to realize who it was with barely a glance. They had been working together for years and she did well in following his orders, then giving more of her own in his absence. He often sent her and others under his command to take down a Titan while he handled others, so someone had to step up and organize everyone while he was preoccupied with the bigger threat. It was hard for him to actually verbally tell someone they did well, even if it were someone vaguely close to him like Petra or Hange, but he insulted them just a little less so that should be sufficient enough for them to know he saw their worth.

As usual, Petra offered him a salute as if he earned or deserved that. He just managed to keep his lip curling in distaste every time she did that. Her greeting was, as usual, proceeded with some form of news though it was hardly good. He rolled his eyes at the announcement of the others under his immediate command were slacking. Any soldier that didn't have to do something often took it upon themselves to relax. It was a terrible habit, even if the Scout Regiment deserved it more than most. The others were still going to get double cleaning duty for being useless pieces of nothing. They were made of sterner stuff than the pathetic excuse for Military Police.

A tenseness creeped through the set of his shoulders as the young woman inquired about him. He was glad for the cloak at that moment as it hid a little bit of the reaction. No one asked him how he was. He had train those around him to ignore it long ago when he first came to the surface and joined the military. So few asked now that it was off putting if someone did. Trust Petra to do so though, ever conscientious of those around her, even him. He evade the question rather than answer it directly. He couldn't allow for anyone to get in, of course.

While they fight over that little monster, the others have nearly free reign in the city. Its pathetic that they find this acceptable, He replied, not bothering to give up any detail about himself. He was always careful about that. The last two people that had learned anything truly significant about him were nothing more than bones and dust at this point. His choice had put them there. His decision meant he lost the two people that had willingly been around him no matter what for an extended period of time of their own free will. He knew he wasn't an easy person; he hadn't had a life that gave him to knowledge of how to truly function with people. He got by at best and those in the squad were forced to tolerate him. Petra happened to be exceptionally good at hiding any ire he caused.

Now that he had failed to answer her question, he stared at the other soldier. Why are you here? He asked, uncaring that he sounded rude and as if he didn't want her around. He didn't care either way whether she was with him or not seeing as they were in a holding pattern. Yet, why would she willing spend what little free time she had right now in his presence? Surely she couldn't be looking for orders. He accepting having to do so out in the field. Here? This was someone else's job to dole out whatever tasks necessary until the shit hit the fan and everyone else was too much of a pansy to do what needed doing.

[Petra Ral]

Perhaps it was just because of how emotional she was that she was able to read just about everyone that she came in contact with when it came to what they were feeling. She simply had that sense about her that detected whenever one was experiencing negativity. Levi was one that was probably the hardest when it came to other people, but she could see it in the way he moved. His shoulders would stiffen, that dull expression of his would get that much duller, and the gray coloration of his eyes would lose a couple layers of luminescence. She had never had the opportunity to ask what her Captain had been through before he had joined the Scouts, but she had heard the circulating rumors about him. He was once a criminal, from what she had been told. Petra hadn't a clue whether or not she should believe such things, but she decided that it was best to keep those thoughts in the back of her mind for now. Even if they never arose to the surface and allowed an answer, she would be okay with that. Talking about one's past was never easy, and if those eyes of his displayed even a fraction of what he had been through in his life, then there certainly was some things that may.. Be better off unspoken.

"Yes, sir, I agree." She spoke as her brown eyes scanned the area, seeing a few titans off in the distance now, but not nearly enough in number for the two of them to jump into action. If they wandered close enough, then they would probably have to deal with the nuisances, but what was the point of going out of their way to eradicate them would more would simply flood through the walls later that same day? What was the Commander thinking...?

Don't question the Commander.

Even though she actually held more respect for her own captain rather than the commander, she knew that the principals and values still remained the same - she put her life in the hands of these people, and she trusted that they would do the right thing, no matter what the circumstance. That stood for now, as well.

Why.. Was she here? That question took her off guard, and her expression was shown directly on her sleeve. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, as though she had been told some sort of riddle. Why would she disobey orders from her Squad Leader? That made absolutely no sense - those others birdbrains (she might insult them a lot, but she actually values them to the ends of the Earth) might have it in their morals to skip out on duties, but Petra refused to do such. If she disobeyed, the poor girl probably wouldn't be able to sleep well for the next few months. Her conscience was a heavy one, that was for certain.

"Well..." Petra trailed off. What was she prattling on about again? Did she even know what she was saying? Of course not, she didn't even have an answer to give and was simply spouting off empty words. Better figure it out. Looking stupid in front of the person she respected more than anyone wasn't exactly what she had in mind for the day. It was a boring day, but she didn't want it to turn outright awful, and if things kept going this way, then surely that was the path they would wander down.

"I would rather talk to you than Oluo." She smiled softly as she said it, putting a hand to her hip and looking back out towards the setting sun. How beautiful - to think that maybe, one day, humanity would be able to have a place out beyond these walls, far west towards their descending star. The thought brought butterflies to her stomach, copious amounts of them. "Besides, don't you spend enough time on your own, Captain?" Raising her eyebrows, Petra looked at Levi directly in the eyes, not breaking the contact. Levi might have a tough and figurative exoskeleton, but there was so much more to him than that. She knew it.

[Levi Ackerman]

The short soldier eyed Petra for a moment, knowing that he counted on her for a reason. She had similar views on certain things as he did. The situation they were in was sure to inspire some of the same reactions, though she was a bit easier to deal with than he was. That was true of pretty much everyone, but she knew how to properly convey everything so that she could get her point across without anyone fearing for their lives or getting upset with his harsh tone. He let their shared frustration slide, unsure on how to handle it. The only thing he could suggest to do would be to go kill the Titans still invading Trost, but that was a patch, not a solution.

There were a good many things that he didn't have solutions for. Levi might not be a people person, or know how to function as a "normal" individual, but he did know that his blade was not the answer to all questions. This, for instance, was most certainly a time when his sword needed to remain sheathed. Petra was a good person and her presence certainly didn't warrant violence. So, what did he do with her? This was not Farlan or Isabel that he was dealing with. Farlan had been the first person he truly called friend so they had found their dynamic, made easier by the other man's understanding of how to manage him. Isabel had forced her way into their lives and brought laughter into their small home, a brightness that he couldn't provide.

He hadn't found that with anyone else again. He really didn't want to try. Just the thought of getting so close to those around him and having them ripped away from them like the other two had been... A spark of pain shot through him, reminding him of the absolute desperation he had felt upon seeing them in pieces. He gaze settled on Petra and flicked away again. He didn't want to see her like that. He kept everyone 10 meters away in every way other than physically so he could continue to move when the inevitable happened. He took a deep breath, shoving all these dark thoughts back into their cages until later. The old wounds always resurfaced, but he bullied that pain into waiting until he was alone. He was the unmovable Levi Ackerman. He did not feel in front of others.

None of this helped him with his current issue. He shifted on his feet, boots scuffing gently on the stones as he let his gaze drift aimlessly. A small wrinkle appeared between his brow, the only show of his confusion. Levi was far from a conversationalist and everyone was well aware of that. His conversations mostly consisted of insults and belittling statements that set everyone on edge. How could this nice woman, always willing to be a shoulder to lean on for everyone else, want to talk to him? He narrowed his eyes at her, trying to figure out what she really wanted from him. Her answer was absolute nonsense. What did she care if he spent most of his down time alone? It wasn't like he would be willing to go out of his way to change that, so why should she?

That's a stupid reason, He stated quite bluntly. Not wanting to talk to Oluo and simply to keep him company was not a good enough reason for her to just hang out up here with him. The former criminal hadn't shown her a reason that he was worth her time. What do you care if I'm alone? We've never spent extended amounts of time outside of missions. Why would you want to start now? He asked, meeting her gaze easily. He didn't understand people. The way that the majority of those around him thought was baffling, not that he ever really tried to understand. He knew it wouldn't, so he didn't bother; that was just one more waste of time. Just like this was for her.

[Petra Ral]

Right when Petra felt as though she as starting to get a handle on this man and understand him inside and out, he would always say something else that would confuse her. Maybe it wasn't exactly confusion, but rather disbelief. This poor soul was far more damaged than she could even begin to imagine, and in the beginning, she had been set on "fixing" him, because that was the type of person she was. She liked to be able to mend things back int recognition, and she liked to be able to restore things to their previous, unharmed states. This wasn't a situation where she could do something like that, however. Levi wasn't an object or person that could be "restored," because there was nothing in there that could be brought back. He seemed to have lost so much that he was now broken beyond initial recognition, but.. That was okay. She was okay with it if that were the case.

Because he was still him. He knew what to do in the most trying of times. He was strong. He was fearless. He did what he knew was best for those around him and he put his trust in the member of his squad because they put their trust within him. Petra believed that more than anything else, and she was sure that she would be willing to risk her life for his own - he was important. That much was certain.

That's a stupid reason,

Her brown eyes blinked a few times almost in what seemed to be embarrassment. She averted her gaze at first, but she found herself not being able to look away from those gray depths for too terribly long. She could get lost in their coldness, but that chill was hiding something different underneath - she couldn't quite read it yet, but it was definitely there, threatening to shine through at any given moment.

"O-Oh, well.. I.." She was stuttering simply because she hadn't a clue what to say ."I guess... I don't think anyone deserves to be alone, sir." Petra then answered quietly, her demeanor becoming very careful, if that was the correct word to use. She was treating this situation very delicately, because it could either make or break whatever Captain/Team Member relationship they had going, and that was precious to her. She valued that with her Captain more than anything else, anything that she could think of. "I've.. Always wanted to tell you that." She hoped this wasn't her stepping out of her boundaries, but it was a thought that had been on her mind for months, maybe even years.

Levi was so.. Quiet. There was much going on inside of his head, but he would never once actually say aloud what was troubling him. Over the days of being in his Squad, Petra had gained the ability to read his demeanor, to tell whether or not he had something on his mind and if he was more distant than usual. It was almost as if he was purposefully pushing himself away from everyone, refusing to let himself get close to anything or anyone because of.. Something. Rationally, it would be because he didn't want to go through the pain of loss again, but then that brought up the speculation of Who, and Why? Petra could go on and on about this, but she decided it was best to try and let it go for now.

"Forgive me if this isn't my place, Captain." Her voice was low and careful, but still quite audible. She wanted to know that, as his teammate, she would be there for him, and she would do anything in her power to ensure his happiness.

Because she was his teammate.

Right?

[Levi Ackerman]

One thing seemed quite clear - they truly didn't understand each other. There was such depth and emotion to Petra that he couldn't comprehend. She was always looking out for everyone else. She wanted to be there for her teammates, including him, no matter what the situation. Didn't she care that they could all be gone in an instant? Didn't it bother her that she was setting herself up for the ultimate loss? Allowing herself to get so close to anyone meant that she would break all the more when they were gone. He worked very hard to try and not feel that way. No one knew that he still did ache at every death.

In his own twisted way, perhaps he had a depth of emotion close to hers; he just hid it from the world. Even when he was in the Underground, he was constantly fighting for human survival. The only difference was that he was trying to help sick people rather than just keep humanity from being eaten. He had his morals, few as they were. There hadn't been much that Uncle Kenny could teach him in the ways of compassion, casual interactions, and building a healthy relationship with someone. After his mother's death, Levi had done what very little he could as such a small child to fend for himself. That nearly ended him, but Kenny arrived just in time. The older Ackerman had been able to keep him from dying and taught him what he could - simple survival.

The short soldier could fight and knew he would always be able to come out of anything because of him. He hadn't learned a damn thing about how to take care of people. Farlan had done his best with that. That was where his very small moral compass had come from. Even that hadn't extended to giving him a proper method of social interactions. Petra was on her own trying to weaver her way through his maze and getting him to understand what she was trying to accomplish. He gave a small noise of distaste. This was just one more thing on his lists of dislikes. He didn't like being confused and this was just about the only thing that truly puzzled him. Everything else was black and white.

His confusion was starting to show through his cloudy eyes. We're surrounded by idiots constantly, Ral. That's not alone, He stated. For someone so smart, Levi felt like he was being very slow. Even with his friend's help long ago, he didn't understand the different kinds of alone there were. Hell, he had been abandoned by his family, albeit one rather unwillingly. He didn't really get that he was lonely, locked away in his walls that he built with every death, with every instance of being left behind. He didn't understand that in a room of people, he could still be utterly alone. Petra was putting him in a very awkward position.

However, he grasped onto the one thing he did understand. He didn't care for authority or the restrictions it put on people. He easily waved a hand, dismissing her concern of overstepping boundaries. Say whatever you want. You shouldn't let anything tell you your place. He didn't care about anyone's "station" in life. He refused to accept that he was supposed to have a place and needed to abide by those rules. No, he called life as he saw it and didn't care who had an issue with that. Allowing anything other than one's own ability to dictate anything was moronic and weak. Bowing to someone just because you're told to was a sign of being a sheep. Instantly the confusion was gone and his usual cool, steely expression was back. His indignation that she would apologize for speaking her mind when it was her right to do so bothered him.

[Petra Ral]

It was amazing, truly, to hear him speak like this. Petra had never heard him say anything other than means of business, commands and things in that nature - now he was talking more so about himself personally, which was something that she had always wanted. Sure, they would all sit together for dinner in the mess hall and would share a drink together, but Levi always remained as quiet as a shadow, simply lingering there at the end of the table. He was never much for conversation, but he seemed to always be listening in on the conversation between Gunther, Oluo, Eld and herself. Sometimes, Petra would swear that she saw him crack the tiniest of smiles, but that was probably a fragment of her imagination. She wouldn't be surprised, honestly. She wanted so badly to see her Captain smile, or laugh, or do something that indicated that he was more human than he tried to let on. He wanted to hide so much, but doing so was such an inhuman accomplishment. At least to her, anyways.

The Scout listened to him with all of her attention, looking at his facial expression carefully, trying to read into it with everything she had. If there was one thing this yong lady was good at, it was analyzing someone when they had something to hide. Levi, of course, had way too much to hide, but his walls were so thick, so obtuse... But she wouldn't be giving up now.

Not after his final statement.

He was telling her that she should say what she wants and do what she feels is necessary. Come to think of it, Levi always tried to push that thought process on his squad members - no one can truly tell them what to do. Orders are orders, but rules could be broken if deemed itself necessary. Petra's own features changed to that of slight sadness. She wished that there was more she could do for him, more that could make him feel as though he could be comfortable and didn't have to keep his guard up all the time. Doing so.. Wasn't that incredibly draining and exhausting?

"Yes, Captain." The girl nodded once, turning her body to take a few steps forward, nearing the edge of the wall and sitting down. In her movement, she walked by her captain, shooting him a kind smile as they passed. "You know, sir, you make an excellent leader. " Okay, Petra, where exactly did that come from? It was obvious that she respected him, so admitting such a thing wasn't.. Too embarrassing, right? "I'm glad that I wound up where I did, under your command." Tilting her head back, Petra looked to the sky, examining the fluffy clouds - the sunset made them appear to be a pinkish orange, radiating with beauty. They symbolized the concept of freedom, something that they all longed for more than anything.

"I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I'm grateful. To be here with you." Wait, wait, that was a little too much. "I mean-" She sighed and stopped herself, her face turning beat red as her stomach twisted uncomfortably. "What I mean is that I'm happy to fight for someone I respect."

[Levi Ackerman]

Finally back on solid ground that Levi could get a grasp on, he felt comfortable with their conversation at the moment. He could sew seeds of discord and rebellion all day long so long as it meant that those around him would take their lives into their own hands. No one was allowed to dictate what any single person could or could not do without their consent. Giving someone full reign to boss others around was an awful idea. That was perhaps one of the better things Kenny had been able to teach him. He stood for no one demanding things of him. Now, if only he could break that habit of those around him.

Petra was fine without him when she already had a clear goal ahead of her, taking the lead in the field when necessary. However, she still looked to him far too much and continued to offer him titles that he didn't want. "Captain", "sir", pointless and incorrect names for a man like him. He had been wretch, scum, thief, and so many worse things for much longer than he was a "sir." He really needed to get her to stop calling them that. His disgust showed on his face in the form of a very small wrinkle in his nose. It was quickly accompanied by the confusion once more as she continued to praise him. Ugh, that had to end.

He eyed her as she walked past, staring intently as she sat and looked upward at the painted sky above. If he were another person, he would say it were beautiful. However, he was just him and he simply saw it as them surviving one more day. Levi really should learn to cherish quiet moments like this seeing as he had worked so hard just to get to the surface. If it weren't for Erwin and Lobov, it might have been he never even saw a sunset like this. Now, if he even wanted to try and enjoy it, it was tainted with his bafflement at how much it seemed Petra liked her station and the restrictions put on her. You just don't know any better. I'm the only one that's made much of an impression so you can't say you like someone else better. He easily brushed off her compliment and chalked it up to pure ignorance on her part. How could she say that she was glad to be stuck under his command when she hadn't had the chance to really be led by anyone else?

Levi also very quickly dismissed her verbal slip. However, he was glad that he was looking away from her with the surprise that flitted across his features. He would be utterly stunned if anyone thought that spending time with him was actually enjoyable. He knew his friends from the Underground had thought him somewhat insufferable at times, though were able to balance him out with each other. His shoulders stiffened as he once more mentally scrambled to get back to solid footing in the conversation. Never fight for one person. Do not make me your driving force. Fight for your own convictions, or you'll fail and get yourself and others killed when I disappoint you, He snapped. He refused to be the main cause for her in this war. People were always disappointing. He had disappointed himself on more than one occasion and he couldn't be held responsible for her failure if she considered him her reason to keep moving. It might only be in his own head, but he just could not have that. He did not need more guilt on the sorry excuse of his conscience.

[Petra Ral]

She had a hunch that he hadn't much faith in himself as a leader, and as a person in general, but listening to him talk, she found herself relatively shocked. How could someone as great as him, as respectable as her Captain, truly hate himself that much to where he didn't feel as though he didn't deserve the praise he got. She knew not to take it to heart when he put the blame on herself - that seemed like some sort of defense mechanism that was so far in place that uprooting it would be impossible. Levi was reserved, Petra was aware, however.. She wasn't expecting this, to be quite honest. The Scout's eyes traveled across the land that they were overlooking; titans were wandering about in the distance, though their numbers were still rather few in quantity - they were nothing to worry about for the time being.

"I wouldn't say you're my only reason for fighting, sir." Petra answered with a gentle smile, not turning to look back at him. She could feel the discomfort coming off of him in waves, and even though she didn't enjoy that she was the cause of it, she knew that these were things that the man behind her simply needed to hear. She hadn't a clue as to why, but she had a multitude of feelings acknowledging the facts that he wasn't used to these things because he had never experienced them before. The respect she held for the Ackerman was beyond anything she had ever felt for anyone, and she was prepared to do anything in her power to lessen the strain on him.

"I want to be free, like we all do." The woman clasped her hands together, looking downward past her thighs to look at the some of the Trost ruins below them. Not too far off, she could see the blast in the wall where titans could pass through - how many people had died just from that single kick by that giant Titan? She hadn't ever seen it, but she had heard enough to tell her that it was far beyond anything they had ever faced in humanity's history behind the walls. "I want to see what it's like far away from here." Her thumbs twiddled together in a longing fashion, that smile of her turning a bit melancholy. "I've heard rumors of things out there, but I want to see them all for myself. I want to find out if they're true and.. I want to see things that no one even dreamed of." In more ways than one, she sounded like a daydreaming child. Petra was an adult, but some of her ideals could be a bit naive - she trusted too easily and fell too hard.

"And.. Sir, forgive me for saying this, but.. I disagree. I don't think I'll ever be disappointed in you." She turned her head then, looking at him with a kind, warm and gentle smile. The admiration she held for this man was beyond anything she could have ever imagined she would have for someone. "You always know what to do when things go wrong. You know how to handle the situation and get us all through anything that may come our way." Petra took in a deep breath, a gentle flush coming to her face that she didn't understand. Was she simply nervous about telling him all of these things? That was a probable cause, but.. Her stomach was churning, twisting and making her uncomfortable.

"So.. Thank you. For being here for all of us. For me."

[Levi Ackerman]

This conversation was not going in any direction he was comfortable with. Petra was just confirming that she put way too much stock in him. He took a deep breath, trying to mentally see the maze she was constructing for him. He didn't want praise, or admiration. All he needed was her to respect him enough to follow his orders when he needed to give them. That was it. He had been roped into this position and stuck with a bunch of people under his watch and he just had to make the best of it. This was not the Underground with his friends. This was not their home in which they built some semblance of a family.

He was in a whole different environment and was just trying to get by without hurt himself or anyone else. All he needed was to eradicate as many titans as he could and then die. That was his lot in life now and he accepted that. Levi was so out of his depth with everything that Petra was saying. He slowly turned his back on her, unsure what was on his face. Really, he was trying to be neutral, but he couldn't be sure that his bemusement wasn't showing through in his eyes.

He couldn't find anything in the words that she said to use in order to steer this back onto solid ground for him. He could see some of her interest in the world outside the walls; he had wanted to pay his way up to the surface. Though, he knew what he was getting into in leaving the underground world. It was the same rat race he had been in down below, but he would have the sun. Her daydreaming took her into a world with things untouched by man once more. They didn't know what was out there anymore. Everything that they had heard rumors about were myths now. He glanced up at the sky, charcoal gaze taking in the vibrant colors above. Going outside the walls was like saying she wanted to fly up and touch the clouds. An impossible dream.

He gave a small sigh and dropped his eyes to his dirt covered boots. They needed a good shining. That was a task set for when he managed to find his way out of this verbal labyrinth. Anyone can know what to do if they're smart enough and can stop letting their emotions get the best of them, He murmured quietly, once more trying to downplay just how important he was. Yes, he was humanity's strongest soldier. Yes, he was better than pretty much the entirety of the Scout Regiment. He knew he was worth more than every soldier in the Garrison and Military Police combined, top ten in cadets or not. That didn't make him worthy of all this praise.

His shoulders were growing more tense every time she said something nice about him. Levi could handle the insults of the merchants, the military, anyone. He could dish it back out in spades. This though... This was something he couldn't do. He clenched his jaw in discomfort as she thanked him, frowning out at the expanse of land before him. He didn't want to turn back and look at Petra, or Trost. He couldn't bring himself to see those bright, shining eyes with admiration in them. He didn't know what to do with that. Hadn't she just said that he always had the answers? Now she was the one that offered him a battle that he couldn't hope to win and all without lifting a finger or saying a harmful word.

[Petra Ral]

The gentle sound of his feet moving as his body turned around hit the girl's ears, and her turned head was able to watch him do it. His shoulders were tensing up even more so than beforehand, and his head was hanging almost... Lowly. She had been around her Captain for years now, but never before had she seen him react like this to anything. He was always so calm and collected, but she could now see that composure of his beginning to be chipped away by an unseen force that was being being thrown at him, unbeknownst to her of course. The mighty individual that she was used to seeing was trying to demean his own worth, she was beginning to find.

"Cap-..-tain..?" She spoke cautiously, swiftly getting back to her feet in a fit of concern. She felt as though this was entirely her fault, and well... It was. Now that she had messed up, somehow, she had to figure out a way to fix it. Petra took a few steps toward "humanity's greatest and bravest," a gentle and kind hand reaching out for a few moments before falling back to her side.

"I suppose that's why I'll never make a good leader." She tried to make a bit of a lighthearted joke out of it, but it was one of the most truthful things that she had ever come to accept. Petra was aware that because of her emotional behavior, leadership would never be something she could aspire to have, but in the end, she figured that would be okay. Honestly, the young woman wasn't too terribly sure how okay she would be in someone else's command wing, but.. She would do what she had to if it meant she could achieve freedom not only for just her, but for everyone. "But, Captain, it's okay to feel things, you know?" Again, she was treading on thin ice, but she was hoping that she could tiptoe here just long enough to break it in a place where Levi felt.. Comfortable, if that was possible.

"You're human." She proceeded to stand next to her leader, examining his facial expression carefully, seeing so much directly under the surface, but not being able to place a single thing regarding it. It was frustrating, but she knew that these sorts of things were hard to handle and took a multitude of time to understand completely, even by the person who harbored them. "You do your best and you do what you feel is right for everyone around you." Petra continued to smile to him. Something told her that seeing a kind face was almost like a sight for sore, tired eyes. "You're a good person. You'll always have my service for as long as I'm alive."

[Levi Ackerman]

The captain caught the soft noises of Petra getting to her feet. He noticed the clinking of her gear, the scuffing of rubber soles on the hard, cold stones. There was even the gentle rustling of the fabric of her uniforms that made him take a deep breath. She felt she needed to be closer to him, obviously to try and comfort him with whatever ill emotions had arisen to stint their conversation. What she didn't know was that he didn't doubt or feel himself lesser than anyone else. He didn't not feel bad for himself. Rather, he knew he was superior in many ways, but the one way he was not was just a mass of confusion. Befuddlement was his only problem right now.

Yet, there was this strange need in her that she just had to try and help. Why? What did it gain her to help him? Probably just as much as he gained in helping the weakest of those stuck in the shadows beneath the main city. Those trapped in the earth, doomed never to see the sky, hadn't given him a damn thing for his help. Yet, Farlan had made sure he saw it as the right thing to do, his way of making Levi something of a commendable individual. He didn't think that he really ever got to a point that he thought himself "good." Farlan and Isabel had him in check, careful to keep him on the path that seemed right to them.

Erwin was now his true moral compass now. He held onto what he could for his fallen family, the ones he had chosen. They would want him to work within the system the best he could. So, he did. That was what led him to taking charge of a squad of his own. He believed that human life was precious so he worked the best he could to make sure they remained on this earth. His feelings had nothing to do with it though. Human as he might be, he was not a true example of the species in anything but his physical form. He didn't understand how to feel and that would just be a weakness. It was a part of the Ackerman curse, gift, whatever it was that sparked in the bloodline, this ability to be so effective at killing and suppressing anything that didn't help that cause.

She finally offered him something that he could understand. He was not good. You're naive, soldier, and stupid. Keeping people alive and being a good person are two different things. One does not have to be a good person to save lives. One just needs to hate the other things more. Levi turned to face his comrade in arms, his usual stoic expression back in place where it belonged. His eyes were void of the confusion once more, showing no inclination that he he felt one way or another about her thinking him a good person. He hoped his lack of reaction to her confession of devotion to him would rid her of any thoughts that her service could possibly mean more to him. While he would mourn her loss in his own way if she were to perish, as long as her death wouldn't be in vain, he could carry on, pick up the burden she left behind and continue on for her.

It was a cold way to think of things that way, but if he didn't, he might just allow himself to break. He was taught to be better than that, stronger. He could crumble under the weight of ever cross he bore for others on his own time. That was, of course, if the walls he built even from himself came crashing down on him. That was just one more unlikely occurrence, equally unlikely to his taking any kind of solace in Petra and her sappy words.

[Petra Ral]

She would be lying if some of the things he said didn't sting. It did hurt her down to the very core, and she would probably be remembering that statement for the entirety of her days, but she was able to look past it. Levi's sense of caring about others, she had gathered, was much different than anyone else. When he showed "disdain" towards others, it truly meant that he didn't mind them but didn't know how to convey it properly. When he wanted them to stay away from him, he wanted them to remain safe and out of harm's way. When he put himself down, it meant that he didn't feel as though he could atone for what he may have done in the past. Of course Petra was foggy on the details, but she was beginning to figure that such things didn't matter, as curious as she was.

"If.." Should she simply stop? Should she argue with him? Should she try and hold her ground for what she believed in, or should she back down and simply let him have his way? Something inside of her told her to.. To continue. Levi would want her to speak her mind, he would think that was brave - perhaps it wasn't even about whether or not he thought she was brave or not, but whether or not he perceived her to respect herself enough to maintain her own position on things and create her own opinions. It was true that Petra was a little reliant on her Captain in some instances, but she was still her own person with her own ideals... And maybe that was what he wanted to hear?

"If you were a bad person then you wouldn't be here, sir." Her voice broke in the middle of her statement, showcasing her fear of not only speaking out, but disappointing the one person she looked up to for everything. Levi was strong, she wasn't. Levi was decisive, she wasn't. Levi was fearless, she wasn't. Levi was a true leader, she wasn't. So many things that he was, she simply would never be able to achieve. She could strive for such aspects, but she didn't feel as though she would ever be able to reach them.

The sun was beginning to dip below the horizon now, that pinkish and orange tinge that lined the sky turning to purples and deep blues. Towards the east, stars were starting to show themselves, twinkling into existence. The air was growing colder, but Petra simply couldn't allow herself to retreat back for the horses just yet. They still had the return journey to make, but.. Honestly, she felt like she could comfortably stand out here all night as long as she were by her respected leader's side.

"You're here fighting not only for yourself, but for all of us, too. If it weren't for you, none of us would be alive. You've saved us all more than once. If you weren't a good person, you wouldn't have stepped in to save us, or to save those you didn't even know." The girl's voice was wavering, her hands trembling at her sides. For once, she was standing her ground on something towards him. "A.." She trailed off, wondering if she should stop herself or say what was truly on her mind at that very instant. She decided upon the latter.

"A bad person wouldn't hold the hand of a dying man and tell him his death meant something special."

[Levi Ackerman]

Petra was being painfully astute today. She was also making a damn big pain in the ass. For once, she was asserting herself. He supposed that he deserved whatever she was going to spout out then; he had told her not to let anything dictate her place. He was always one for a rebellious stand against authority. Shouldn't he accept that she was doing exactly that to him? Levi was also always pushing his team to take control of situations out in the field, making their own decisions to the best of their ability.

She was finally taking a page from his book and standing up to him. Levi could give her a point for actually standing up to him. So few people defied him that is was something of a new sensation. He could handle this just fine though, easily understanding a mindset that allowed for opposition such as this. He had been doing so his entire life. His shoulders relaxed, his rigid posture seeming to melt into an easy stance without moving a muscle. The lovely woman before him, so caring and concerned for everyone around her, was desperately trying to get him to view himself the way she did. Her problem was that she didn't really know who he was, not really.

There were so many dark things that he had done in his past that would haunt a sweet person like her. There were skeletons in his closet that would easily send her howling into the night in terror. The things that the he was simply willing to do made him the very opposite of a good person. Petra Ral was an idealist with such a skewed view of things. Perhaps not everything, but most certainly of him. Here on the surface, there were perhaps two people that knew what he was capable of. Neither of those men were near and he highly doubted that they would say anything against him. He sure as hell wasn't going to taint this pure being before him with the blood that was on his hands.

He did lift a hand and waved away her insistence that he was a good person. Didn't it occur to you that I could have just wanted him to shut up? No one needed his blubbering. Why was his fighting so hard to prove that he wasn't this almighty being that Petra was trying to paint him as? No, perhaps it wasn't him fighting off her trying to push her convictions on him, but rather him trying to snatch away those rose colored glasses. The world was ugly and Levi was aware that she saw that. Somehow she was finding beauty all around them despite everything they had been through. Still, she was seeing it where it didn't belong. His was not a world that allowed for such soft things that Petra cultivated in her own.

He leaned forward, narrowing his eyes in a hard glare. Are you sure you wouldn't rather speak to Oluo now? He would be much more agreeable, He said quietly. Her kind words certainly wouldn't go amiss among the more pleasant individuals of their team. Then again, literally anyone else would be more agreeable than the dark haired male before her.