Tea Time [Petra]

[Petra Ral]

How.. How did she wind up here? How was it that she got into this odd position again? Oh, she did it? Right - right. She had lunged her body forward, tightly wrapped her arms around her Captain, and now was having to deal with the repercussions. Her eyes shot open as the reality coursed through her uncomfortably, her cheeks matching the embarrassment she felt by flushing a deep rose; what was she thinking? Petra's stomach was clenching in one of the strangest ways possible, but she was also finding that this was.. Oddly comforting for her. It had been so long since he had a true hug from anyone, even though Levi's arms weren't wrapping around her in response. That was fine, truly.

A gentle touch on the top of her head caused her to jump a little - she wasn't expecting him to reciprocate it whatsoever in any way shape or form. His body was stiff due to the foreign presence of someone being so close to him, but Petra honestly couldn't say that she wasn't feeling the same. The only people that she had ever hugged like this were her parents, but now she was doing it with.. Her leader, her Captain, Levi Ackerman. How did this wind up the way it did?

Maybe she should stop asking questions and just take what was given to her.

Can I... Help you with something else?

It brought her back from her little trance world, but not entirely. She didn't want to leave, that much was certain - what she would give to just stay right here in this very spot. It was warm.. She felt safe from everything when she was in the crook of Levi's neck, the scent of his clean clothes sinking into her senses and making her smile. For a moment, she willed them to be laying down so she could go to sleep just like this; what a great night's rest she would obtain from that... How was she managing to get lost yet again?

"I-I'm... Sorry..." She spoke and froze, literally having to force herself to unwrap her arms from Levi's torso; it pained her beyond recognition to have to do that. She backed away just a step, maintaining a close proximity with him - for some reason, she couldn't bring about the motion to back up even more. "I don't know.. What came over me." She was averting her gaze to the side and occasionally to the floor, almost afraid to look back up and examine her Captain's facial expression. He must have thought she was such a blubbering fool at this point; she had let herself fall too deeply into her own emotions... Petra had already told herself that she couldn't allow them to reign over her actions, but.. But-

"I'll make sure it doesn't happen again, sir."

[Levi Ackerman]

Levi waited patiently as Petra clung to him. He was trying to be as neutral as he could right now. He had to keep in mind that he was one among a great many that didn't share the affections and connections everyone else did. The most physical contact he had as a child was fists and feet. He actually tried to avoid physical contact every day of his childhood. It would never occur to him to seek anything of this kind. That was not the relationship with Kenny that he had and he couldn't recall his mother very well anymore. She was a phantom by now after everything he had been through. Had she been kind to him?

It mattered not now. He let out a soft breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding as Petra parted from him. He kept his face as blank as he could. He didn't want her to think she had upset him. He couldn't say that would be true, but he surely hadn't any clue on how to process the information she offered him. He hadn't seen her ever be so open with another of their team, or anyone else for that matter. That made him special to her. He doubted that his being a fine leader in her eyes would endear him so to her. So what the hell was that?

He cleared his throat, a hand going to smooth the cravat that now usually hung around his throat. Right, he had taken that off. His arm fell back to his side after doing nothing. That wasn't a typical action he took. Perhaps it was a physical show of how uncertain he was. It was such a rarity that maybe his muscles just needed something to do. Interesting. If he didn't want the overzealous response, he would have been tempted to ask Hange her scientific opinion. No, he would figure this out on his own.

Feeling a new wave of energy running through his limbs, it seemed he would instead exercise and release his discomfort that way. That meant it would be an even longer night for that would require a shower, another pot of tea, and then finally sitting down to his report. Levi very nearly rolled his eyes in exasperation but reminded himself that he still had someone in his quarters. His gaze went to the blonde before him and a furrow formed. She wasn't even looking at him when she had so brazenly stared and demanded for more information about him before. Was the hug she had started so uncomfortable for her? That didn't seem right.

Well, no matter. Will you be needing anything else? Once more, he tried to mind his manners that he so often refused to pay attention to. She was not an authoritative figure that hadn't earned his respect. She wasn't some moron that consistently disappointed him. Petra Ral was a good soldier, though he never praised her as such. She was trying to show him kindness, odd as that was. He was doing his best to hold his tongue from the scathing remarks he had given up on the wall.

[Petra Ral]

Her stomach wanted to fold in over upon itself, her throat wanted to dislodge her heart from it's position within her chest, and most importantly, she felt as if her lungs were burning for the need for oxygen even though she was breathing perfectly fine. Visibly, she gulped again nervously, hands clasped together in front of her body, her finger playing with one another. Petra didn't know how she was supposed to handle this situation she had put herself in. The hole that she had dug for herself was turning out to be much deeper than she could have ever imagined, and now she was dealing with the aftermath. It wasn't necessarily bad, though, and that was the strangest part about the entire ordeal. Levi's words were just as curt as ever, his discomfort showing through his features and a bit of a loud undertone to his question, but Petra couldn't allow herself to leave just yet.

She had come to far and gotten to close to simply walk away from this now - what if a chance like this never arose again? Her Captain was the person she idolized more than anyone else, and she respected above all others. She wanted to see him smile, to see him finally be content with the things around him, and she wanted him to feel affection like the others were used to. She wanted her leader to know what casual hugs felt like, what sitting close next to someone was, what...

She blushed a little deeper than usual. Why was she letting her mind go that far into this? Levi was her captain, though her feelings for him would never be put to rest. She adored this man, even though he was reserved and business-oriented. Already she had sent a letter to her parents telling them how devoted she was to him and that she would like to see herself spending the rest of her life with him, if something like that were to ever happen. Even if that meant they spent it together just the two of them or they spent it in the captain to squad member relationship, Petra would be absolutely fine with it as long as she could be by Levi Ackerman's side.

"Sir, I-.." Her voice cracked nervously. Get it together. "Please forgive me for asking, but, do you dislike it? Being hugged like that?" It was then that she created that eye contact again, finding herself getting lost in the coal depths yet again. If she wasn't careful, she would venture in too deep and never be able to find her way out again...

Petra, as much as she didn't want to admit it to herself, didn't want to come out of this. She wanted to say in his room, stay by his side, and stay close to him for the rest of her days. If only life were that kind.

[Levi Ackerman]

The captain watched the emotions cross Petra's face. It was strange to see someone else process what was going on when he knew that he couldn't reciprocate all of it himself. He could pick out most emotions thought there were some that no one had been able to help him identify. By the blush across her cheeks he could assume that she was embarrassed by her actions. She also seemed nervous. Was she waiting for him to yell? Was she anticipating insults and cruel words that would drive her out?

He was doing his best to not resort to all that. Their current situation didn't really call for it and he was trying his best to keep her sensibilities in mind. This was hard work being mindful of others and how his words made them feel. He didn't usually care. Why should he? Most people were assholes and didn't deserve the respect that they demanded from others. He just refused to do so. He gave out what he felt others actually should get. Petra perhaps should get a bit more kindness from him than he usually gave but it was such work to be entirely conscious of it that he often forgot to do so at all, no matter how good the person in front of him.

He glanced at the door before she looked up at him, wondering just when she thought it was time to leave. His steady gaze returned to the blonde soldier just as her big brown eyes lifted to finally look at him. He raised a brow slightly at the question posed. What kind of question is that? Hugs are not abhorrent, unless you have a condition that makes them so, He answered plainly. The contact had not caused him physical discomfort, adding to his body heat to make him a little warmer. That wasn't entirely a bad thing as the rooms were often more drafty than anyone would think with sealed stone. However, there wasn't much of a method of warming rooms, so there would always be a slight chill.

He hadn't been comfortable as it was unexpected and Levi didn't know what Petra wanted from him. That was not reason to shout at her for invading his personal space. He certainly had no problem doing it himself when he saw it necessary. Than again, his invasion were a good deal more violent. Oh well. This was not about their stances on proximity to another and the different approaches with which they did so. This was the simple fact that hugs were not things often disliked. Being that you initiated, hugs are something you welcome. Why are we discussing this?

Levi shifted on his feet, trying to figure out the purpose of this conversation. He might actually welcome why they were having this impromptu visit. He had been kind enough not to just leave her in the hall. He had also been nice enough to share his tea and not toss her back out of his room. An explanation wouldn't go amiss, though that might seem rude to her and he was trying out this "nice" thing.

[Petra Ral]

Yes... She could very much tell that she was pushing him a little too hard at this point. Maybe if she could have just kept her thoughts together she could have avoided this awkward conversation that was now going on between them. To make things even worse, her captain was now asking as to why they were on this topic in the first place. Petra didn't know what to tell him; his gray eyes had shifted to her, to the door, and then back to her again. She was being troublesome... Her eyebrows furrowed into something that looked a bit sad, though she wanted to conceal it as much as possible in front of him. He needn't be bothered with these trivial things any longer - she could handle her emotions on her own... Those were her responsibility. It was childish of her to try and force that understanding onto Levi. It was childish and selfish.

"It's nothing, sir. I hope you have a good night." She dipped her head as a sign of respect, giving a quick salute before turning around and walking towards the door, though her body was abnormally stiff for her usual demeanor. Petra let herself out, the door closing quietly behind her. She wasn't sure as to why, but the moment that she was left to have a moment alone, her eyes began to well uncontrollably, tears dribbling down her face. Her shoulders shook in the slightest, a small whimper escaping her lips as she brought a hand to her face to try and wipe the physical emotion away. She was praying to anyone willing to listen that Levi hadn't heard the small noise of her weep; she was quick to leave after that, hastily walking down the hallway to get to her room where she could let out her feelings in peace.

Once Petra got to her own room that was a lot less nicer than Levi's, she removed her clothing and quickly got into her pajamas, immediately getting into bed without even lighting any candles. She would allow the blankets to do the job of flame tonight, as she didn't have the energy to start up anything. Her pillow was yet with the salty essence of her lachrymal sorrows, the dampness not affecting her from falling asleep, albeit it did take a few minutes to cal down entirely. Thankfully, they weren't to be doing much tomorrow so she could remain in here for the majority of the day, though doing such was very much unlike her. Petra was still confused, though.

Why had this made her so upset? Why was she so sad that Levi didn't feel in the way she was expecting? Or maybe not so much as to how she was expecting it, but maybe because she was having to deal with her own emotions that she felt would never become a reality - dreams that were best left to dreams.

A beautiful bride... Walking down the isle...

[End]