Welcome to For the Glory, soldier! We are an intermediate roleplay about the anime/manga Attack on Titan (Shingeki no Kyojin). Our story begins soon after the battle for Trost, leaving our characters, worn, battered and distraught. The popular district is currently overrun with titans, leaving it useless for any sort of cause that could aid in humanity’s fight. Those in the military are currently trying to devise a plan to take back Trost, and an operation will be put into place - that is, as soon as they acquire enough warm bodies to do so. Until then, they are in the midst of a hiatus, training as many cadets as possible to help them in carrying out their plan. The fight against the tyrannous beasts that rule over this world is as ruthless and relentless as ever, and it is up to you, soldier, to decide where our story will turn. Will humanity be able to retake Trost, or will it forever be in the merciless grasp of the titans? The answer is up to you.
Updates
4.9.2016 - Welcome to For the Glory! New updates will be posted soon! - MARCO
Events
4.13.2016 - FtG is now open! If anyone experiences any problems with the skin, coding or board layout, please let an admin know. Thank you for reading, and why not take a look around and pop in the chat box and say hi!
Admins
MARCO BOTT
- Admin
LEVI ACKERMAN
Admin -
JEAN KIRSTEIN
- Moderator
Awards
TO BE ANNOUNCED
- Best Female
TO BE ANNOUNCED
Best Male -
TO BE ANNOUNCED
- Best Couple
Meet your Maker
FOR THE GLORY was created by MARCO BOTT and LEVI ACKERMAN. The skin was created by Dorothia this includes the Board Mod, Navigation Bar, Chatbox Toggle and more. Thank you to kimset from RPG'D for the tabbed banner. Board Icons were found on Axialis. Pictures were found on Google, Zero-chan and any other graphic resource sites. Everything else ranging from applications to posts belongs to its respective member. Please message a staff member if we forgot to add you to the credits.
Post by Levi Ackerman on Apr 25, 2016 21:58:12 GMT
The tired Ackerman took a deep breath, pleased to be heading toward his quarters. Dinner had been easy enough to get through after the grilling Petra had given him on the wall. Now he could relax and let his mind start to wind down for the night. The men had been a distraction enough that he didn't have to put up with much on his end, thankfully. He was able to sit in relative silence, as usual, while eating. Of course there were complaints about the wasted time out in the field before their quick return home, but they had made a few solid kills while they were out so that was something.
His tea was subpar as he expected so he had been itching to get back to his room so he could put a pot on himself. As a commanding officer, it afforded him certain amenities that many others didn't get. It probably didn't hurt that he was scary as hell when he didn't get what he wanted. Levi opened the door and quickly took a look at his quarters. Everything was in its place, seemingly properly cleaned from where he stood. With a small nod of acceptance he took a single step into his room and immediately took his boots off. There was just dirt all over the bottoms and he wouldn't allow for that to be tracked all over his floor.
They ended up in a careful heap beside the doorway and out of the way. He would clean them shortly. First, he would settle back in. The cloak and jacket were carefully inspected then hung above the boots. There was nothing that demanded his immediate attention so yet another thing that could wait a little longer. The door closed quietly behind him and he padded softly over the scrubbed floors to what could be called a stove. It was just enough for his kettle that he set to warm while he finished his routine. His gear had been left with everyone else's to be attended to and he knew, due to the life and death situations that they got into, that their things would be fully serviced to perfection. He would accept nothing else after all.
He began to loosen the buckles and straps crisscrossing his body. Relief flooded through his muscles seeing as he kept the straps so tight, making sure that he had utter control over everything. After the day he had, he was glad to be in a space where nothing would ever be out of place. This was the one spot that he could ascertain that nothing went amiss.
Dinner was bland, but that was to be expected. It wasn't as though decadent food was easy to come by these days, not that it was in abundance before the fall of wall Maria in the first place. The young woman took in a deep breath as she walked through the halls alone. The others had already retired to their individual rooms - this was nothing like the days in training where there was one large room for each gender in the squad. These elites had proven themselves to the point where they deserved much greater things than any cadet could ever dream of. It was nothing compared to the cushy life in the interior that the military police admirals had, but that wasn't the life that Petra had chosen for herself since the very beginning.
She rounded a corner to see a door shut close, though the sound was barely audible. That meant that it was one person and one person only - the man she had been talking to atop the wall. Her Captain was always so gentle when shutting doors that he made less sound than a newborn mouse when he retired to his quarters. She gave a single, melancholy chuckle as she shook her head, a saddened smile looking down to the floor as she continued to walk past. A certain, familiar smell caught her attention though, causing her to stop abruptly in her tracks. A delicious scent, although faint, was perforating through the area. She wasn't sure if he was in the process of making tea at the moment or if the hall was permanently marked with the presence of tea leaves due to their Captain.
Petra stared at the small gap underneath the door, seeing a flickering light that resembled a flame. For some reason, she felt.. Quite sad. When she tried to put a finger exactly as to why she was feeling this way, she was met with more of that same sensation. The Scout took in another gentle breath, allowing her back to rest up against the cobblestone wall behind her. Before she had dinner, she had gone to her room to get out of her uniform, so the lack of the straps clinging to her was relieving; she could really tell as her back pressed up to the hard surface. She didn't even know why she was retreating to her room in the first place, it wasn't like she was tired. There was too much on her mind for her to be able to sleep. As far as she knew, they didn't have much on the agenda for tomorrow anyway, so if there was a night ideal for being an insomniac, then tonight was surely it.
The troubled girl simply couldn't stop thinking about the things that Levi said to her when they were having their odd conversation on top of the wall. She respected him more than anything, but it was like.. He was trying to scare her into thinking what he was saying was true. Petra, of course, would never have her opinion upon her Captain swayed, no matter the circumstance. She put her life in his hands every single day of her life - she wasn't about to resign from that status for anything.
A sudden noise startled her, dragging her away from her thoughts. The door that she had been across from started to open in a swift, fluid motion. Her chocolate eyes were wide, the distant fire dancing in the form of a reflection in their gentle color. She was met with her Captain, looking at her with that intense expression of his.
"Fo-Forgive me... Sir." She mumbled the words, her cheeks flushing a deep red due to embarrassment. God, she must have looked like such an idiot. Petra turned, hastily beginning to walk down the hallway yet again, trying to retreat to her room.
Levi took to his nightly routine when he was within the walls. The leather that wrapped his body on a daily basis was loose. His cravat was neatly folded and put away. He had unbuttoned the first few buttons of his button down. The thing that would really set him apart from the so meticulous soldier that everyone knew was the collar positioned straight up. That careful crease was smoothed out, allowing for his former self to peek through once more. So few would remember how he had come to the Scout Regiment and he was certain this his own squad was fully unaware.
He moved easily through the room, changing the hot water into a pot to steep the tea leaves. He kept count of how long the leaves were left in so it would be just strong enough. While he waited, he set out his tea cup, and paused. There was very little sound to cut the silence of the night. His brow furrowed as he glanced toward his door as if someone were knock. No, there were no knuckles gently rapping against the wood. There wasn't a sound to otherwise announce unwanted company. Yet, there was this itch between his shoulder blades as if he were being watched.
Well, it was better to be paranoid and ready for an attack than ignore it and end up dead. He moved to the door and pulled it open, letting the candles within his room shine out into the hall. He gave a small sigh as the light shined on the blonde tresses of the woman that had joined him atop the wall. He stared at her as she became quite embarrassed being caught outside his room. A small part of him thought to let her walk away, flustered as she was. She hadn't found herself here by accident though. She might not have made the conscious decision to come here, but the other soldier's subconscious had led her to this destination.
Ral. Get in here, He called to her retreating back. He left the door open as he stepped away, checking on his tea to make sure it wasn't ruined. It was fine, but his need to control everything within this space dictated that he check nonetheless. He went to the small cabinet to retrieve another cup for his unexpected guest. He set it next to his and settled himself into one of the two chairs at the tiny table. He did most of his work at this table but the paper work could wait until morning. It seemed his night was to be otherwise occupied.
He leaned back, resting one ankle on the opposite knee and watched the only woman within his personal squad. Something else on your mind? He asked. No doubt she was going to continue their earlier conversation. Perhaps he should finally let her in, offer up details about himself upon her request. She had proven herself formidable against the titans so chance for loss was slightly less than with Isabel and Farlan. Yet, he knew he wouldn't allow for much connection. Whether she knew it or not, he already felt too much for her. For their entire team. That should be plenty, but she was so unaware and poking at things she knew nothing about.
He looked down, starting at the china he had set out. Damn it, he was going to have to share at least something. This would end up being the first step on a slippery slope if he weren't very careful with what he said. If nothing else, it would damage her in one way or another which was not what they needed. Petra would have to learn how to compartmentalize so they could continue their working relationship and keep the war with the titans the main priority. She did not need to be worrying over the details of his past should he finally give her some idea of who he truly was.
Her body stopped dead in its tracks, her entire figure freezing at the sound of being beckoned by that powerful voice that was so smooth yet so ominous. Her Captain was truly an amazing man but she was also intimidating by him. Not afraid, but intimidated. She somehow knew that there wasn't anything to be afraid of when it came to Levi, but sometimes she could be a little fearful of just about everything around her. It was a sad fate for someone who was actually as strong as she was - funny how things work out that way sometimes.
She walked into the room with a slow pace, her demeanor being rather timid. She had never been in anyone's room at this base other than her own, and she never thought she would be in Levi's private quarters at any given point in time. It was nice, extremely nice. There were two cups set out on a small table which indicated that he was prepared to serve her another cup of tea, as well. The smell perforated calmly throughout the room; she managed to relax some of her tense muscles with just a few breaths. Her Captain was waiting for her across from the same table, legs crossed in a waiting position. He was inquisitive now, very much unlike how he was before, trying to deter her in any way that he could. It was odd how the page had been flipped now, but Petra wasn't about to acknowledge it, in fear that she would miss this opportunity she now had.
"I'm not sure." She was truthful as she sat down, her hands clasped together in her lap. Her eyes were fixated upon her twiddling thumbs, her body heaving in a gentle sigh. Honestly, now that she was here and had the opportunity to truly sit down and talk with the person she admired more than anyone, she was drawing a multitude of blanks. Petra's expression remained a little melancholy - how could she force herself to be happy right now? Why was she even upset in the first place?
"Sir.. I-" Her wavering voice piped up again, her gaze suddenly reaching up to meet the opposing pair of dull grays. "I don't think I've ever really seen you smile, now that I think about it." The words fell from her lips without much thought to back them up. Why.. Did she say something so personal like that? That was totally uncalled for, and the flush of nervousness on her cheeks showed just how out of place she felt, but she was sticking to her guns anyway. "Sometimes when I look at you.. You look like you're lost." Was this... Was this disrespectful? God, she had no idea anymore. "Like... You've seen too much."
Levi shifted his shoulders as he waited for Petra to enter and join him at the table. It had been so long since he had received company like this, since he invited someone in like this. He looked at the tea pot, as if waiting to see what it would do next, while he pondered simply having a conversation with another that wasn't out in the open. Sure, the wall had been a private enough space at the time, but anything could have happened between titans clawing at the stones below them or another squad member hurrying to join them as well.
He had been outside. He had been behind his walls as always. Now he was behind a physical door that separated him from everyone else. He had allowed himself to feel certain things that no one else was privy to. He was sure nearly everyone would laugh and brush it off as a joke to say that he had a break down every now and again with only his own thoughts to console him. His storm cloud eyes drifted up to take in his guest. Not her. She would believe that he was capable of such depth of feeling and join him in it. His long lost friends would probably call her insane.
They would also promptly hit him and tell him not to let her go since no one else would be crazy enough to show such interest in him in any way. He nearly smiled at that. He almost gave her the very expression she claimed never happened. If only she knew how close she had just come to see him crack the facade. He leaned forward, focusing on the hot pot for a moment, those deadly hands of his showing such care as he poured the fragrant liquid into their cups. He set it back down, adjusting his cup before him until he was content with its position.
You think I look lost. I'm never lost and what I've seen is simply common placed. Levi's finger tips encircled the rim of his cup and brought it to his lips. The back of his hand just barely brushed his nose as he took that first careful sip. Perfect. His shoulders dropped a fraction, simply pleased to have a decent cup of tea. It almost seemed that any conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it would make him, would be easy to get through. Of course, that was not the case and he knew that, but that warmth sliding down his throat and spreading to his limbs wanted to convince him otherwise.
He set the cup down just as silently as he had shut his door earlier. Once more his focus was on the other soldier. It seems you pity me for things you don't understand, and pity me further for not reacting to things the way you think I should, He stated, still sticking to his earlier convictions that she wanted him to be different than what he was. He had tried intimidation earlier, thinking that if he offered alternative motive for things he had done, she would see that he didn't have to be this perfect picture she saw him as. He was simply trying another tactic, letting her know that whatever she thought of him, he did not. He knew he wasn't like everyone else and was perfectly fine with that. It was all he knew and he didn't think there was something so seriously wrong that he needed to be changed to conform to this image she had.
Levi had never thought that he was damaged goods. Yes, he had been poked fun at for his stoic demeanor, but never had his friends made him feel as if there were something wrong with him. They accepted that he was this stiff, merciless being and were jovial enough for him. He had never faulted them for the way they acted. Perhaps he would force people into doing what needed to be done which might not suit certain reactions at the time, but he had never told Isabel to stop laughing and enjoying through the air like that bird she nursed back to health. He had never once told Hange to stop enjoying her dangerous work of studying the titans, only to be mindful of the lives around her. Why would Petra want him to be anything other than what he was? Would that not make him something else, someone else than the man she so admired now?
Last Edit: Apr 26, 2016 4:23:50 GMT by Levi Ackerman
Jeez.. That wasn't what she was trying to convey to him whatsoever. She darted her eyes down toward her tea, the dark liquid finally beginning to become still in her china cup. Sheepishly, her hands moved out to grasp the warm container, and she then brought it to her lips. When it entered her mouth and danced upon her tongue, she closed her eyes delightfully. She hadn't had such good tea since she was back home, with her parents. In a way, this drink almost brought her back there in her mind, but the discomfort and nervousness she felt regarding this whole situation refused to let her leave entirely.
"I'm not trying to tell you how you should feel about anything. I certainly.. Didn't mean to make it sound that way. I apologize." Her voice was quiet and cautious, but she was still willing to maintain the conversation with her Captain. This was much more in-depth than what they were speaking about above Trost. Levi was acting much more.. Open? Was that the correct word to use? Honestly, she didn't know if that was the correct description, but she was glad to hear him speak a little more than usual. It was rare that the Ackerman was talkative, but it was also refreshing when the odd occurrence intervened on her daily life.
"I just know that is never gets easy." A hand lifted up from her glass that she had set down on the table to pull some of her hair behind her ear, as it had fallen in front of her face. Petra's gaze narrowed down at her tea yet again - her thoughts were moving toward all of the friends that she had made in her trainee days dying at the hands of the titan right in front of her. They would scream for her, reach out for her, beg her to help in any way she could, but there wasn't a damn thing she could do. She would have gotten herself killed in the process of saving her friends, and she was simply too much of a coward to do something as brave as that. Now, though, if Levi were in a position of danger, she would step in front of a speeding bullet if it ensured his safety. She wasn't quite aware of how much of a transition she had made on that aspect. Before, she could only mouth to her dying comrades an "I'm sorry" before they perished, but now she would give up everything she had in the blink of an eye for her Captain.
"I suppose I pity everyone, in a way. I hope that doesn't make you feel like I'm belittling you." She was beginning to lessen the use of her formalities, such as the titles that she would tack onto the end of every statement addressed to him. It was like she was really starting to talk to him more like a person than her leader alone. "I respect you, and I care about you. I want you to be alright." Her cheeks flushed yet again, praying to whoever would listen that she wasn't stepping over her boundaries. Where.. Where were those at, anyway? Needless to say she was completely devoted to the person sitting across the table staring at her with an intensity in his eyes that never faltered in the presence of anyone else, that much was for certain.
Post by Levi Ackerman on Apr 27, 2016 15:49:55 GMT
The Ackerman watched the nervousness in his subordinate. She didn't seem to really know what to make of the situation other than there was still such misunderstanding between them. Maybe it was just being alone in his personal quarters that was setting her on edge. She had never seen him truly at ease behind closed doors. She had never seen his uniform be other than impeccably sharp. Everything in his room was still sparkling clean and each item had its place. There was a consistency throughout that everything had to be just so, on the field and in his room.
However, no one knew that he had once been a criminal. No one knew the man that had the popped collar, the small home that held a good deal more laughter than anyone would consider possible for him. No one knew the tragedy of his life. He planned on keeping it that was as much as possible as it didn't concern today's current events. The way he had been brought up resulted in this man now, and that was about all that anyone need know. Petra was just trying to find anyway of connecting and bringing something else out in him. After so many years, he didn't think he had anything else to offer.
I would like for you to save your pity, Petra. Save it for the fallen soldiers and their families. They need a good deal more consoling than I. Levi paused, taking another sip from his cup. He stared at her over his hand, taking note of the small movements she made. The lack of "sir" and "captain" had not been missed. She might be uncomfortable, but the young blonde before him was at least finding some way of allowing that nervousness to ebb away. It showed in those small cues.
The cup tapped the table again and he shifted back in his seat a little more, slouching less. I am alright, He replied quietly. He didn't know how to help her better understand that he didn't need to be taken care of. He had been taught to be self-sufficient from a young age so he didn't see it necessary to allow someone to start trying to take care of him in any way now. What was the point in trying to learn how to let someone in now when he had been like this for nearly thirty years? He would be just fine in continuing on without Petra's constant worried gaze. The losses they had experienced did not affect how he led his team, so why did she feel the need to try and get in?
What had she seen that made her feel she had to poke at this now?
Levi made a small thoughtful sound. The others show more signs of needing help, He said quietly, letting the unasked question "So why me?" hang there. The other men would drink and show their grief in a much more pronounced way. He did little to draw attention to what little feeling he had. So what drove Petra to seek to help him more than the others? This caring woman should approach their emotional trauma as she would triage the wounded on the battle field. He showed the least amount of injury, so he and the dead should come last.
Truth be told, Petra hadn't a damn clue what it was that she wanted to hear come out of his mouth. She didn't want to hear that he was upset, but she also didn't want to hear that he was perfectly fine. She didn't want to hear that she needed to help him, but she also loathed to hear that he would refuse her yet another time. It was as if everything was a losing situation that brought about a feeling of being disappointed in herself. This feeling with herself showed directly in her almond-colored eyes; the Scout would truly never be able to hide whatever emotion was running through her veins at any given moment. Her face was like the pages of a book with front too easy to read - Petra resented that about herself more than she would like to admit.
"That's why." Her voice was lessening in volume with each statement that fell from her mouth. She was beginning to get afraid of the things that she felt. She didn't want to trust herself, because she didn't find those feelings of hers reliable - was that something that she would be doing, or was she being foolish in doing so? She hadn't a clue, though it was hard to be honest with herself regarding it. Petra just.. Wanted to run from all of this. She felt anxiety crawling at the inside of her stomach, trying to pierce its way through her skin, but she wouldn't allow it.
"They're able to tell each other those things. I.. I don't know. Forgive me, sir." There she went again, demoting herself into making sure that he held Levi to a higher standard than herself. Carefully, Petra reached out for her tea and brought it to her lips, taking another sip. That was able to make her relax a bit, her shoulders slackening and a deep breath inhaling and exhaling through her nose in the form of a gentle sigh. Her loosening body leaned back against her chair, her hair falling out from behind her ear due to the movement. She didn't feel the need to fix it this time, simply enjoying the sensation of the lovely taste in her mouth. She simply couldn't get over how amazing this tea that Levi had was - since when did they even have access to this kind of stuff anyway?
He was hogging it all. Yeah.. She didn't blame him, honestly.
"It's not really important." A few more sips of her tea rendered her cup empty, and she placed it against the table. The china produced a small noise that was oddly satisfying against the wood table. "Please pardon me for intruding." Petra bowed her head in a respectful manner, the position of her body moving into a stance where she was obviously about to stand up and make her leave. She had troubled her Captain long enough.
Post by Levi Ackerman on Apr 27, 2016 21:05:23 GMT
Levi frowned at Petra's assessment that due to his lack of showing grief, he needed more help than the rest. He didn't understand how that worked. He watched her carefully. It was sometimes difficult for him to get a good grasp on how people thought, especially when it came to caring about the others. A pang of longing flashed through him. What he would give right now for the other two to be here so they could talk him through this. They had had years to figure out how to explain things so that he would be able to better accommodate others despite his lack of comprehension.
He gave a small sigh and finished his cup of warm liquid. He gave the pot a small nudge to listen for the careful sloshing of flavored water within. He picked up the pot and filled both cups once more, acting as if her excusing herself from the table wasn't happening. He rose from his own chair to put the sullied china in the small wash bin. It was easy to say that someone else could wash this for him, but he couldn't trust that it would be returned back to him. Not to mention he couldn't be certain that it wouldn't get broken.
He turned to face he table once more, motioning her to sit back down. You haven't finished your tea. He returned to his seat and tucked his legs under the table this time, fully facing the other soldier. You want me to talk. Is that correct? The captain asked, trying to understand what she wanted from him. If he put this into physical injury terms, than he was the one with the largest wound that could still be salvaged. He was not, as he saw it, someone that was still well enough to function without immediate medical attention. If he wanted to keep his team functioning properly, it seemed that today his duties as squad leader included helping her come to terms with whatever was bothering her.
Unfortunately, that meant that he had to figure out what she needed from him as he was the thing causing her distress. Levi had been trained to be a fighter. Uncle Kenny had done nothing for his emotional needs. In fact, Kenny had been so unprepared and unable to help him with that, that he simply buried everything until he couldn't anymore. His anger was a fearsome thing since it was so rarely seen. It bubbled out and could send the biggest man to hide in a corner. His grief was bottled up until he burst, but only ever in his own room, away from any prying eyes. Currently, his bottle wasn't so close to bursting so he wasn't in danger of exposing himself to this sweet, caring woman before him.
He wouldn't know how to handle things if she were to see such a display. He was not so weak as to be willing to invite her into viewing such a weak moment for him. The dark haired man would just have to find a way to assuage her worry for him so she didn't see it necessary to get behind his walls anymore. That was most certainly easier said than done.
What..? She was so sure that she had finished off the beverage that had been offered to her. Petra looked down as she was in the middle of getting to her feet when she saw that it had been refilled without her being aware. Her brown eyes blinked a few times, a confused expression adorning her face.
You want me to talk, is that correct?
Her instincts wanted to shout to the sky in how much she had wanted that; they told her to unleash a beam of a smile on her face and grab both of his hands from how much she had been needing those very things - his words. But Petra wasn't stupid enough to actually let herself do any of those things, so she simply decided that she would sit back down in a quick and fluid motion, nodding a few times with an urgent flare in her gaze.
"...Yes." She affirmed his suspicions, although they were anything but hidden in the first place. She had made it known a few times other than this that she wanted to know what had happened to her Captain in his past. What was it that made him so stoic? Why did he have a face of stone when others were dying around him - how was he able to face all of that and remain so calm, so collected, so.. strong? So impenetrable, so damn resilient? All of these questions circled around the young woman's mind, her chest tightening. She so badly wanted to shout out these questions one after another and obtain a multitude of answers, but it just wasn't that simple.
Her hands rested clasped together upon the table, the wood feeling smooth against her skin. This was everything that she had ever wanted out of Levi.. But why wasn't she as happy as she thought she'd be? She as more nervous than anything, and that concerned her. As much as she hungered for these very answers that were on the tip of her Captain's tongue now, she.. She found herself experiencing a bit of self-doubt. Did she really want this? Would this truly solve everything in regards to her being unable to understand Levi?
The captain was not all that surprised how swiftly Petra overcame the confused look on her face and sat back down. She obviously had been so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed him refilling her cup. If they had been out in the field, he would have been wholly disappointed in her. A moment's distraction could mean life or death out beyond the safety of the stone they resided in. He bit back any scathing comment he would usually make in deference for a sharp look. He pushed that away as well.
See? He could keep others in mind. Petra didn't deserve him demeaning her ability to be aware of everything. She was allowed to take a little time to let her guard down. It was a stupid thing to do as one never knew what could happen, but no one else was him. So few were Ackermans, specifically, so they didn't have that ability to close everything out and function purely to be effective at everything. Perhaps that was part of the reason why he didn't connect well with others, or so few understood him. Whatever the reason, he had opened a can of worms that was not easily closed.
He took a deep breath and sipped at his third cup of the evening. Again, the perfect blend of herbs and just the right strength hit his taste buds. The warmth eased through him as if to try and help make him comfortable. It still wasn't working. The Scout's eagerness did not escape him, no matter how much she tried to reign herself in. The fact that he had even suggested that she just wanted him to offer up ... something made him a little concerned about what she expected of him. He didn't open up to anyone.
Levi leaned back, studying the woman in front of him. This was not a battle he was prepared to fight. He didn't even know how to manage his way through let alone end it. If he had been anyone else, his discomfort would have shown a great deal more, or he would have simply told her to get out and locked the door behind her. Yet, for as stubborn as he was, she could be to. I ... don't know what you want to hear, He finally confessed after a long silence. Other than that Yeager brat, he had nothing of importance that he felt necessary to talk about. He knew that wasn't what she wanted though.
So, what could he say that would satisfy this need to be near him? This had never been in any of his training. A slight pinch began between his brow. This was much harder to get through than his first Titan kill. Then again, his first Titan kill was after he found his friends strewn across the grass so he had been inconsolable. He had taken his rage and anguish out on the beast and stood covered in its blood, lost and alone. That had been just one more thing locked away from everyone. That day had probably been the start of his title as humanity's strongest soldier. Was that what Petra wanted to know? No, surely not. It had happened so long ago that it was no longer relevant to anyone he worked with now. His lips curled downward a little, as he tried to figure out what she could want of him. He did not like guessing games.
Hell, she didn't know what it was that she wanted so badly to hear, either. Did she want to hear that he had a good backstory, or more reasonably, a traumatic one? Did.. Did she really feel the need to know all of those things when Levi was so strong and independent? Truth be told, her Captain didn't need her help, or anyone's help, but here she was, continuously being insistent and refusing to leave him alone about the topic. She must have been so annoying, which was the opposite of what she was going for. Petra could, more or less, be no more than a doting mother-figure for just about anyone, but it was only because she cared so much. She cared about those people from her trainee days dying, reaching for her and screaming out her name; she cared so much for them and wanted so badly to help them - there wasn't anything she could do.
But she could do something, now. She didn't have to stand back and let things go on their merry way as they destroyed and wrecked people's lives. She didn't have to let the tormented and the tortured continue onward without a shoulder to lean on. She had the ability to be a rock for those people, including the amazing man sitting across the table before her. Picking up her cup, Petra took another sip of the piping hot tea, her body relaxing again as if it were a neurological response to the beverage.
"Anything. I want to know anything you're willing to tell me." It wasn't that she felt she needed validation to respect him, or that she felt as though he couldn't be trusted otherwise - she already put the entirety of her faith into this person. It was more so about how she wanted to understand him more... As a person. Not just her Captain. He had a beating heart, he had a mind of his own, and he had feelings unlike any others; he was an individual, he was unique. Those things should never be wasted or taken for granted, as they were the beauty of being what they were: human. "Where you came from, how you got here, what you feel." Oh god, that sounded a little weird, didn't it?
"I.. I want to understand you, and connect to you."
Post by Levi Ackerman on Apr 29, 2016 20:31:40 GMT
Well, those were specific things she had asked for. For the most part it was an easy request though he was slightly uncomfortable sharing details about his life. It wasn't that she wasn't allowed to know, as if he were ashamed of his past. It was more the fact that he didn't see the point in her knowing. What did it achieve? Did they not have a connection now? He was her squad leader and they trusted each other as fellow soldiers. They could count on the other to do their best in the heat of battle and he knew she would tend to the others in ways he never could. Never would.
There was a balance of power between them despite her not being his second in command. He frowned slightly but shrugged his shoulders. She had been patient with him all evening so he supposed a small reward was in order. I was born in the Underground. Erwin brought me into the Scout Regiment. I feel ... Levi began, answering her questions in order. He paused, true consideration filling his eyes. How did he feel? He felt perplexed really. That was the most prominent emotion currently coursing through him.
However, him answering thus wouldn't achieve much. He didn't think he would ever really understand his teammate. She had a depth to her that he would never have. He was most certain on that point. But, she had asked. I feel neutral. Yes, that would sum him up quite well at the moment. He was neither bothered by anything, given that his second and third cups of tea were perfect. He had expected everything else to have been subpar, as usual, so it wasn't a disappointment. Their day hadn't ended terribly, though it hadn't gone quite well. They had been recalled to Trost to defend it after the cadets(a really surprise there) had secured it from the first onslaught of Titans.
He was still angry about the Yeager cadet, but there was little he alone could do. He needed Erwin and Hange as it would take the three of them to convince everyone else that he could be tamed properly. Titans weren't known for being wrangled and beaten into being useful, no matter how long Hange had been working on them. That was for tomorrow though. He took a deep breath and refocused on the woman in front of him. I hope that was helpful, He offered as an afterthought. He didn't know what that information would do for her, but it was more than she had a few minutes ago.
He took another sip of his tea, seeing that he was leaving bare dredges left at the bottom of the cup. What a shame. His eyes drifted to the pot that now sat i what counted for his wash bin. He considered making another. It would help keep him a little more alert as he worked on his report for the brief expedition they had taken early on in the day. Though, considering it hadn't even lasted an entire day he might not need the pick-me-up. Well, he could decide after his conversation with Petra.
She knew that getting the information out of him simply couldn't have been that easy, but.. Was this all she was going to get? His words were few in number, but she could see the expression on his face changing into one of pure thoughtfulness. He was trying, genuinely attempting with everything that he had. He didn't know how to talk to people about what he felt, and that was described as "neutral." A simple gray from a wide array of colors, and Petra would be lying if she said she didn't absolutely adore that gray. Levi was different, he had his own way of going about things - maybe she needed to stop trying to pressure him into giving away things that he simply couldn't just yet.
This would take time.
"More than you know." At first she was frustrated with him, but now she couldn't help but feel a strong sensation of gratitude. He was trying his damndest to give her what she wanted, and here she was, just trying to fish more, and more, and more out of him. How selfish could she be? God.. She could probably never understand the things that Levi went through when he was young, so why was she attempting to bring those thoughts to the top of his mind? They should lay dormant where they belonged, at least for right now. Her smile was gentle, caring, kind, an doting in the strangest of ways. Petra wanted him to be okay, and she had gotten what she wanted, albeit it was there the entire time she was reaching for it. All she had to do was look directly in front of her - she was such a blind idiot.
She took another sip of her tea, her chocolate-colored eyes softening a considerable amount. Honestly, she felt happy here. She felt like she could simply close her eyes and relax, perhaps even fall asleep in the hard chair she was sitting in. She hadn't a clue as to why, but the calamity she was experiencing in Levi's room was incredible. Petra suddenly used her leg muscles to push her into a standing position, her palms gently resting on the surface of the table to support herself while she gained her balance back. The Scout began to walk toward the other person in the room, clasping her hands in front of her body as she stood in front of him, about a foot or so away. Apparently her Captain had figured that she was about to show herself out, which.. She was, initially, but as soon as she high-ranked soldier stood, she found herself moving without her mind's consent.
Her arms outstretched themselves forward, weaving their way around Levi's chest - for someone who acted so cold, the first thing she noticed was that he was surprisingly warm. Petra's head rested against his shoulder for a few seconds, that smile of hers growing by the second. "Thank you, Captain."
Post by Levi Ackerman on Apr 29, 2016 23:26:20 GMT
The neutral feeling Levi had was quickly turning into concern. The elder soldier wasn't sure what to make of the soft look the overcame Petra's face. There was something in that look that he really didn't know what to make of. He wanted to comment on it, but nothing came to mind. Perhaps if he ignored it it would go away. Yes, that seemed the best course of action. His attention dropped to what little liquid was left in his cup and he finished it off.
Keeping his eyes down, he considered what do to with their time now. He was a terrible conversationalist and he wasn't sure on how to handle her. Of all the people in his squad, of all the people that he interacted with, it seemed she was the most difficult. This connecting she wanted from him wasn't an easy thing for him. They spent so much time training, working on various little projects when they weren't on expeditions, that there wasn't the time to just sit and sit with one another. In the Underground, if he wasn't stealing from the merchants, or helping the sick, he and Farlan were alone together in their home. Later, Isabel learned the home dynamic as well and that offered them plenty of time to get to know each other. It also didn't hurt that they all already knew what it was like to live there.
No one here knew anything but surface life. He knew that there was still variations on how good their life was, but they always knew what it was like to have the sun. That changed things between him and very nearly everyone here. He still hadn't met anyone else that had finally made it up those stairs. He wasn't looking all that hard anyway. It didn't matter now. None of that was necessary for their conversation as it seemed it was ending. Levi glanced up as Petra pushed herself to her feet. He easily got to his as well. The tea was finished and she seemed ready to take her leave. It was the polite thing to do to walk her to the door despite the fact that she had rudely been standing outside his door and intruded on his night.
He froze as she drew near instead of going to the door. He lifted his arms as she stretched hers out to encircle him. The captain very nearly stopped breathing as she pressed her head to his shoulder. This was a show of affection he hadn't anticipated. A small sound escaped him, though he couldn't name what it had been if he had wanted to. The dark haired man raised a hand to lightly pat the top of her head. Can I ... help you with something else? He asked quietly. While this was not something he would have initiated himself, he was trying to understand how to handle Ral better. She was emotionally needier than everyone else and, in wanting to keep a good relationship, he needed to not make things difficult between them. Right now, shoving her away would not be helpful to that endeavor.